Cancel Christmas - The Terrorists Are Coming!

By now all of us are in the absolutely jingositic mode and serious faced when we talk about the 'War on Terror'. We have done our bit beating down the inept politicians, shedding a tear for the martyrs and joined the usenet groups for Saving India and Fighting terror. Few of us may have stepped out the e-world and joined protest marches and lit a candle!

All that till the next 'Intelligence Information' that comes in from your newspaper or your news channel. Of course the other reliable information is from 'I heard from an army source..'type of stuff that comes on an SMS. WE JUST GO BONKERS after that! We will stop breathing if we get a warning that terrorists are planning to attack the nose!

My city has a once a year'habba'. For what it is worth it has been happening for a few years now. But I believe that terrorists have planned to have a party in the time frame and hence we have accommodated them. We have cancelled the 'Habba'. Wonder what we will cancel next, Christmas? How about New Year? We should continue with 2008 because the terrorists might attack us on New Year's Day! So we can trick them by not having 2009 at all.

Now that sounds like a plan!

Nobler Intentions

IT CANNOT GET BETTER THAN THIS . The nobel press release actually refered to the core of my thesis work in it description of the nobel prize as one of the applications of GFP. As close as it gets!!! WOO HOO!!!

Nobel Intentions!

In one of the rare moments two different friends from the 'research' past reached out and shared with me the headlines on the Nobel Prize for Chemistry (link is to the NYT article) for 2008. Typically when they announce the Nobel prize in chemistry, I look at atleast that day with dread. As a 'chemist' I am supposed to know all of this amazing work. And to be honest, I have no clue almost all the time. These amazing guys do such incredible stuff that it goes so overhead!

But not this time! Of all things this time the prize went to a group that worked on Green Fluorescent Protein from the jellyfish Aequorea victoria. I feel that I know this protein coz this and its brother protein Aequorin was what I spent most of the 7 years of research that I ever did. My group has been working on this and as crazy as it may seem I actually was one of the first to begin this work. I never ever thought I would be so close to a Nobel! Probably the closest I will ever get!! 

I was walking around this evening with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. As my friend assured me, I am entitiled to have this 'feeling' today

Freeze! You are on Camera!

This is not a rant but more of an observation. Are we losing our ability to be natural. Gone is the time when a photograph freezes the reality for ever. Now the action sequence is frozen to be captured for posterity.

The most striking aspect of this was in a wedding I attended recently. Gone were the times where the vadhiyar maama held control. Every event in this wedding was coordinated by the camera men, video and still. There are those wires running around and they hold center stage. Even the thaali tying ceremony was controlled by these men with everyone waiting patient to get the pose right. I remember looking at the black and white photos of my parents wedding taken by my father's friend, a photo freak, at that time some good 40 years ago. You could see the same event of the mangalsutra tying with all the rice and flowers flying in. There was genuine smiles all around and you can almost dip your finger in and taste the happiness. Then there is other amazing photograph of Michael Jordan flying in from the 3 point line to dunk the ball and every one just looking up in amazement. Here everyone including yours truly were having this complete plastic smile.

We were looking like walking smileys! :-)

A message across the Eons

Today I was a part of an ancient religious ritual with my father. He knows that both of us not doing the done thing. My father and I reduced a ritual that normally takes about 3 to 4 hours to 15 minutes. We were in some sense clinging to the bare vestiges of a religion we are associated with but not necessarily practitioners.

But even in those 15 minutes of religious chanting, I was stuck by the fact that all these complicated rituals and mantras were handed down over so many thousand of years. What is the origin of these words strung together? Surely it seems impossible for one person to write it. Sometimes it is amazing to think you are sitting in the land that literally has millions of forefathers! And as part of the ritual you actually convey your salutations to them.

The 15 minutes of chanting today have left a mark in me for the first time. Another journey?

Cheap Thrills on Weekend

After wallowing in the by now familiar pool of self pity, I was able to wrap up this week on a reasonable high. Two things happened.

A disastrous turn in a friendship hopefully restored and stronger.

My first size 38 jeans!!!

That was my serious woo-hoo moment!!!

That's what fools are for...

Today was most positively a bad day! It is one thing to be a fool. It is another thing to realize that you have been had all along. I guess the realization that you have been made a fool of is the most depressing part.

I had one such incident today. The aforementioned fool, moi, has this ridiculous notion that as long as you are straight with people they will be the same to you. Today someone just violated the fundamental trust I hold dear and I got totally blind-sided. A good wake-up call. Not that I am innocent, but this definitely is the beginning of the end of whatever innocence that was left in me.

I really wonder whether I am a fool to pay too much weightage to trust as a value in a relationship. It probably is a two way street! If you value a relationship as much as the other person, trust is a given. Else one of them ends up being like me...a fool! sniff! sniff!

Its Friendship Day!

I am a cynic and yes, it is nuts, but I actually felt good about friendship day! Probably because over the last 10 days I spent time with some my oldest buddies over the phone and in person!

It is a wonderful feeling when someone can listen to your silence patiently and work with you to make you feel better! Me and my screwed up head were a mess. I went to meet this buddy as a sanctuary than anything. There he was getting me a bottle of cheap wine (not that cheap really!) from California so that we can get ethanoled like in the old times. We did have a good trip, where we essentially transferred the blame of all things bad in our lives to others :-). That did feel good!!! Through his patience, he did allow me to gather the bits together. I felt amazingly good after the trip with a whole new purpose!

The other fellow traveller called me when least expected. After I watched Kuselan, an excuse of a movie to define friendship! Late into the night we chatted, reliving the cool times of school and laughing at all the stupidities.

It is so amazing that these guys were there when I really needed it. And you just don't have to explain yourselves to them...they just know the idiot I am! And for that I thank friends and what the hell, Happy Friendship day to you!

Nuclear - Muddying the clear waters.

I am watching the tamasha that is getting associated with the nuclear deal. Whatever happens with respect to the government on Tuesday, I think these folks are playing with country's future.

Anyone living in Bangalore knows that we need power. And if Bangalore needs power, I really do feel sorry for the rest of Karnataka. With this as the background there are the saviors in Red who think this deal will put India in danger. The danger my red friends is from inside and please ask the mirror, it will tell it to be you.

Outdated thought processes, ideas that fuel divisions, and retrograde mind-sets...and these guys talk about how this deal will tie the Indian foreign policy.

Forget everything else! If the deal goes through we are entering an age where we deal on commercial terms with nuclear suppliers. We can continue to do military research on our terms. And there will be hope that the smallest hut in the remotest village has a light for a child to read and become the next Abdul Kalam!

Enough of the age of darkness. Let there light!

Tamasoma Jyothirgamaya!!!

New beginnings and hopefully an end!!

Do you ever get the feeling when you look at yourself and say 'Boy can I be more stupid than this?'. After reflecting on the happenings over the last couple of months I am close to answering in the negative. It is an unexplainable hollow feeling of stupidity that strikes you the most.

Over the last couple of years, life has been an interesting ride to say the least. Due to some decisions I took with my eyes wide open it took an explosive turn towards more interesting over the last one year. And moi, the all knowing (yeah right!), has taken it all in his stride to ride this out. But I find it to be getting more and more difficult to do the riding. The last 2 months have been a culmination (I desperately hope it is so!) of one more trough.

I guess in the process of riding, I have forgotten what is my purpose! What are the things that I have set out to do? What is my charter? What are my aspirations? While the mind is recognizing this, the heart is completely unwilling to listen. I have been completely blind to what is really happening (to be read as really being full of myself!) around me. Sometimes you have to realize that few things are not meant to be and MOVE ON! The mind says Move and heart says hold! The physical me is stuck in the middle :-(

Does this intensive introspection mean a new beginning with purpose? The learning continues...

Will I have the fortitude to chose what is really important? Watch this space!!!

Small town, Aint so Quaint

As I boarded the bus to Chidambaram, I was doing so with half dread and half anticipation. Chidambaram and my family go back in time. My mother was from around there, my uncles had studied there, my aunt lived there sometime ago. The ancient town, as I remembered it, was truly ancient. I had been there for a reasonably time about 30 years ago. And the memories I had were that of answering the calls of nature in the wild, drainage systems that reminded us of the Indus valley civilization.

As I was pulling in I saw ICICI ATMs. I was shocked for I was still expecting them to be using the barter system and salt as the currency! The city-me was feeling a little better already. We landed at the bus stand which was, as I remembered it. There was this theatre showing the tamil version of "The Hulk". I was saying not bad! Then there as another theatre called Lena showing "En Aasai Malavika" (My Dear Malavika - with no doubt as to what 'dear' meant on the poster!), I was saying not bad at all!!! Due to a quirk of packing, I realized that I had to go shopping before I showered. So I stepped out, the city boy stepping into the wild. I used my Google Maps from 30 years ago and entered the town.

The good thing about using Temples as landmarks is that they do not move much over time! I was walking on the roads that I had walked 30 years ago. At that time the distances were huge, but over time and as my height had evidently grown, the distances had shrunk. Went through the roads where my aunt lived. In fact, I actually identified the house they had lived in. And then I made this turn and lo and behold! The huge gopuram of The temple. It was a sight to remember. Went by some landmarks from my personal life like the hall where my parents got married! Chidambaram is one of the towns that literally seems to have existed in history because of the temple. Then came the University and the town had found a new purpose. The University itself is an interesting combination of the old and new. There are enough golden jubilee halls and Platinum jubilee archways to remind you of the age.

As luck would have it, there was a festival at the temple. It was Adi/Ani Thirmanjanam. There was huge crowd in the temple. Brahmin ladies in the traditional madisaar (I must admit that i was looking for Asin here!). There was dance happening in the front of the 1000 pillared mandapam. There was the Utsava Murthy of the Lord himself sitting on top of Mount Kailash with Ravana trying to lift him up! Amazing combination of images and stories. The wonderful thing for me was the catholicism of the temple. You can see both Vishnu and Siva from one point in the temple. Two huge branches of Hinduism from one vantage point. And as you step out, you can see people of other faith respectfully removing the slippers and walking through the temple. My personal woo hoo moment was the Darshan of Sivakamasundari. We had to wait for more than 30 min to have the Darshan. I was getting impatient as there was a bus to catch. Then suddenly the bells started ringing the curtains opened!!! There she was in her regal and divine beauty! Amazing Grace! Magic moment!

From the temple I stepped out to more mortal desires. City boy had to have food at an "authentic" hotel. Went to a place called Krishna Bhavan on East Car street. Old house that has been converted to a hotel. Food was served on plaintain leaves. Had the recommended Masala dosa. As divine as the Darshan! One degree kaapi and off I was! Back to silicon valley. Come to think of it Chidambaram had better roads...rather roads when compared to Bangalore.

Of course, before I left the temple I had a tete-a-tete with Govindaraja Perumal. I had to ask him with due apologies to Arunachala Kavi, En Palli Kondeer Ayya? Dasavatharathil vanda varuthamo? He was silent. Mesmerized by the cosmic dance of the Aroopa, the King of Dance!!!

Airport - No Blues for Me!

With all the negative publicity the Bengaluru International Airport was getting from my morning newspapers and other not so reliable sources of information, I went to the airport thinking it would be a disaster. I half expected all of us to do a long jump from the aerobridge into the plane! So I went to the airport with a feeling of fear...coz I Can't Jump!

But much to my surprise, the airport was actually not bad at all! There was a loooongish queue in the morning when we had to leave. But we did leave in comfort. The sports bar was not a disaster as I had thought it would be. The return was even better. I was out of the immigration in 10 minutes and did wait a little bit for the suitcase to come out of the baggage carousal. When I stepped out, I chose the BMTC bus service instead of the flood-light robbers call as Taxi that charge an arm and a leg to get out of the parking lot! I did not choose the Volvo but the normal bus. Am ashamed to say that this was my first ever Bus trip in Bangalore. The time of the day was 5:30 AM in the morning. The bus actually left on time! And the driver and conductor were most accommodating. They actually dropped me in a non-scheduled bus stop as it was closer to home!

Not a bad experience for some one coming out of an international trip. Can things be better in terms of signages, user-friendliness etc? Sure they can! But I could say that for Heathrow terminal 5 as well!

For once I do not want to whine about the airport, coz it ain't so bad! I think good things need to be appreciated and hence this very straight write-up. And all those whiners, get out of the car and take the bus to BIAL. It rocks!

Boosted Egos and Busted Products

I am yet to recover from the shock and the ego rip er..trip that Kamal had in his Magnum Bogus! I have poured it out to a certain extent in my other blog (my own ego trip :-)). But in one of those undisturbed moments of reflection (you really do not want me to describe where that was...I will drop subtle clues), I was wondering what pushes a man to peddle crap as story and feel smug about it. Clearly I could not flush the damn movie out of my mind.

It was about 8 pm in the night, after dinner. The whole tamil play gang had gathered in a room to finalize on a play. There was a kernel of an idea for a play. We had run out of tamil scripts to do and had to perform our own stories. So in all earnest this team built the idea into a play. Then we tore it apart...ripped it literally. We wanted to see whether the play will stand our criticism. These were about 15 minds sitting and beating this idea to pieces. At the end of 2 hours we realized that the play as we had thought of it was actually not too sound. The team then went on to work and fixed it. 2 hours later we had a robust play. This play was good for the 21 year olds who thought of it and the 17 to 21 year olds who would watch it. We performed the play to as good a review a college audience can give us...a standing ovation! And it was accomplished for a budget of Rs 1500 only.

Granted this happened 16 years ago. Granted the 20 somethings have really not done much in theatre or movies since that time. However, I think the underlying point is that there is a process to idea generation. There is honesty in the team to ensure that whatever gets out of these discussion is a good product.

The discussion for this movie must have been on similar lines. But I guess the team that discussed it were so full of it that they really could not smell their own fart! Kamal actually had the guts to give himself a 9 out of 10 for the story teller. He felt that he is probably one of the best in the business. If that is the truth, I pity the business.

Isn't it true that more often than not when you let your ego take the better of you and think whatever you do people will lap it up irrespective of the quality, it has ended in a disaster! Met this company folks recently that thought they had an awesome product and lo and behold! When they took it to the market, no one bought it. Because, the people out there did not need it! And we had just forgotten to factor them in the whole design process.

I think in any of these individual driven companies or ideas, you need good counselors as mirrors or little pins if you will. Just to poke your inflated ego a little bit so that you are grounded and don'treally don't fly away!

Dosaavatharam - Musing on Paper Dosai

The other day I was in Saravana Bhavan, Vellore and I had ordered Butter Paper Masala. The waiter came back with a very long face and said that they did not have Butter Paper Masala. My heart sank faster than Tashan in the box office! But then he very apologetically said that they only had Ghee Paper Masala Dosai. I pondered. Thought about it for....well....a ......full.... quarter second and made the compromise! I told him that I will have the dosai!

I open with this incident just to let the rare one or two fellow jobless entities who read this blog, that I mean business when it comes to having paper dosai. It has to be just perfect. Over the last few years I have made it my duty to go to various places in the world (Continents of Australia, Africa and Antarctica excluded) and gone to very many Indian restaurants to sample the local cuisine (South Indian of course!). And invariably, I look at the menu and search for it. Then I see it out of the corner of my eye. I see it going to some other lucky guy or family of four (on some super diet for sure). I look at the waiter and say the same lines as Robert Redford's mom said in Harry Met Sally, "I want whatever they are having!". Just to clarify to the evil mind reading it, No Meg Ryan and no 'other' scene :-(

The key components to enjoy the dosai are the chutney(s) and sambar. The masala plays a key part in the middle. The dosai to the uninitiated has to be papery through out....no soggy business. And the dough should not be too sour.

Here is my quick review on Paper Dosai globally

1. Shanthi Sagar - CMH Road, Bangalore - They have it in the menu...but when I ordered it...where is it?
2. Kamadhenu - Trinity Circle, Bangalore - One of the better ones in Bangalore. But sadly the restaurant is no more
3. New Krishna Bhavan, Malleswaram, Bangalore - Not bad at all
4. Adigas, Malleswaram, Bangalore - ???
5. Saravana Bhavan, Bay Area, US of A - Why small size paper?
6. Kamath, Panjim - Size okay, sour dough, and they have no clue about making Chutney
7. Sagar, London, UK - Big Dosa, Okay Dough, Sambar sucks and Chutney was sucking louder.
8. Unnamed restaurant, Chatiram Bus stand, Tiruchirarpalli - HuUUUUge Dosa, watery sambar, liquid chutney
9. Saravana Bhavan, Vellore/Ashok Nagar/T. Nagar - Good stuff...getting there
10. Saravana Bhavan, Vadapalani - Heaven!!!

PS: These are restaurants where I have been too in the last 3-4 years. This clearly does not include the dosais in Detroit and Chicago or Sangeetha group in Chennai. Just thought I would mention it so that I don't see people hurling half boiled potatoes at me! And let me know if you think there is a better dosa waiting to be discovered.

Accidental Eulogy!

Last week was different...I had my first experience with death. For the first time in my life I watched the cold business that happens after the life leaves the body and the body then joins the earth...ashes to ashes. It was the death of a relative and I was more of a dutiful escort to my parents than really a willing participant. However since I was making the journey, I realized I was more sincere than I thought I would be.

I had a preconceived notions on the soul that passed away. He was not necessarily my favorite. I thought he was after money, not getting it the right way all the time. He used to talk about himself. A bore I thought! Of course he was, what seemed to me, not a man with right moral fibre. So when I saw him make his final journey, I was hoping there would be some handful of people to hang around to say good bye. The last journey is lonely and you don't want to be doing it alone right?

But what I saw was revealing. There were many people who came in from all walks of life. A caring boss who put out a full page advt for an employee and agreeing to pay for all the final rites. Many people from the weaker sections whom this man had helped in any of ways to navigate the corridors of government. A lot of relatives for whom he was the pillar.

I did learn that day that one dimension does not make a man. And as many things in life, Gray is the color of life, not black not white. As I saw him make the last journey tears welled in my eyes.
Tears of sadness and tears from humility...Learning one more lesson in the journey of life.

Why do people want to cheat? No...this is not one of those Jiddu Krishnamurthy type sessions. Wanted this to be a rant but I will not get into that mode as well.

Last week, I was filling up a full tank of diesel for the Scorp at the petrol bunk in Adyar. Full tank is not cheap by any standards. The folks that were operating the pump were super friendly. They were smiling and being extremely helpful. There were 3 people buzzing around the car. It was really nice, and the idiot in me was thanking all these good people. Mera Bhahat was looking mahan. As we were filling up, suddenly the pump stopped. The guy filling in was apologetic and said "Saaar power cut"...and he yelled at a colleague to turn the power back on. He reset the pump and filled it up again. Then as one would expect he gave me a bill of what he filled after the power cut added to what he filled in before the power cut. That is where the trouble began. He told me that he had filled in a full tank of 45 liters. And he assured me that my Scorp can hold 60 liters. The only catch, I have never filled 45 liters....ever! The tank can hold a max of 45 and I had about 10 liters still left!! There were sheepish grins and apologies for a clerical mistake and good high quality acting when I said I would lodge a complaint. Money was given back to me! There was absolutely no reason to cheat except greed! I was giving them good business (>Rs 1300) when others around me were filling up for 500 bucks max. But they got caught because of their over confidence and greed. But Why??

Then there is this whole cartel of people in the Indian Academics who buy and sell degrees. I am observing at close quarters a scam where degrees are being sold, theses being bought like brinjal in the Mallewaram Market. I am wondering why? Why should one want a degree when one does not really want it? Why should the guardians of ethics, the professors and the deans, cheat and give away degrees. All this for what? Imagine the next doctor you go to in an emergency has no clue what she is doing...she had bought her degree. Or the engineer who built the bridge on which you are walking to see the huge flood go below....will the bridge hold on bought degrees or on true knowledge!

Why is there this need to cheat? Why? No answers but bewilderment :-(

Those Oldies!

In those days, when the first whisker started to sprout, and we were having way too much fun for one at that age (like all people at that age), I used to look at some of the oldies. By this I refer to anyone on the wrong side of 27-30. Look at them going to office, coming back on a routine basis. Boring lives, I thought! Then these miserable people who lacked a life, got married! That is it, no romance in their lives! They are just choosing to get married and 'settle'...as if they did not look settled already! What kind of sad existence is it to live a life of such drudgery!

Some 15 years down the road, I have been so absorbed in my existence (that is another way of saying I am so full of it!). I do realize that time has gone by and now look at all those irresponsible folks (those who actually called me uncle!) and snigger! I continued to look at the generation(s) above me as people who never had a life!

Recently, I have had the chance to interact with more than a few of those irresponsible things. I realized in hindsight (dont we all!) that I had this almost avuncular attitude towards them. I have been getting these questions on life those good old days and like a complete dork I have humored 'them'. Until one of those times of completely needless introspection, that it hit me!!! It was like Agent Kujan the Usual Suspects after the bird had flown. I was so dumb! Then I reflected back on all the conversations I have had in the last few months with these "lively" ones! Essentially the questions boiled down to Now that you have this mundane existence, was there any time that you had actually lived? there members of the opposite sex existing in your times? Did you even notice them? Did you have crushes? Was there anytime that you had decent fun?

I was one of 'them' to the brats! Imagine the anger, shock!...The audacity of these young things to think that I did not have a life! huh! In those days when we used to....Aw forget it, you will never understand...It is not like that anymore!

The next day I chanced on some of them uncles on the roads! The supercilious look that I had when I looked at those grayer or balder than me had vanished! Each of them must be enjoying good full lives, run around trees, sang songs and duets, made fun of teachers etc etc! It dawned to me that the only person who needs to know that they have had maximum enjoyment living every minute is me!

Jogging Maami in Sankey Tank

When I hit the Sankey tank in those rare mornings of walking "exercise", I spot this lady. She is in a saree and wears slippers (not the Cinderella kind, but regular uncomfy Bata ones). I have know clue as to who she is. The morning light does not allow me to register her face (Just so that you don't think I am one of 'those' people who look!).

While I huff and puff like a fast extinguishing breed of steam engines, gulping in cold air and spewing out hot air from the furnace, I see this lady breeze by. Mind you, I am in my latest pair of jogging shoes, shorts and T shirt so that nothing 'slows' me down. But here she is in a Saree and horrible slippers just breezing past. It is incredible that the speed she generates every time she comes in in spite of her dress.

The reason this struck me was that it is incredible that a middle aged lady can be so fit and run around like this in a saree. What would she be if she had the benefit of training, coaching and proper attire? She would be the Desi version of Flo Jo! And how many of these women are we missing out who could have done us proud somewhere. May be in the Olympics, may be in the Asiad...so many possibilities!

I only hoped that she was running home to wake up her child from her deep slumber to get ready for school. May be there was a running competition for the little girl and mom's the best coach she could ever have!

How Umpires rob the Money Paying Public

It is with mounting anger, frustration that I writing this note. So pardon the French!

It is a Sunday. I am watching a cricket test match between India and Australia. Like many idiots in this great land of ours, I too got up at 5ish to see India battle it out down under. The first bummer was that India was not batting when I woke up. That was because the Aussie captain thought it was worthwhile to bat on. He had a plan. He did not want to lose. And how could he lose? He had a good bowling group and more importantly he had two complete jack-asses being umpires.

I cannot imagine in the recent times when you are watching a match and the Umpires taking it away from you literally. It is the days of the neutral umpires. So there is no nationality or jingoism that is clouding the decision. It is just plain bias, incompetence that comes into play. How many times do we endure this? In the old times, when people watched and we were all jobless and in a poor market third world country this was okay. We had to say the Gods were not kind. But not today! We are still a poor country but the market is not small. There is money involved in advertisement. When incompetence rules the roost, it is robbing the public a good contest. If the Indians lose because of a bad performance, we will watch the next match because of the proverbial curse called hope. But if it is the same umpires continue to officiate, why would I watch something other than cricket....why would I watch two selectively blind man do their thing? Why would I advertise in a set-up and useless contest?